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3rd Annual ODB Memorial Pub Crawl
I know I've devoted several posts to this year's Pub Crawl already... but you're going to have to endure one more. I wouldn't be pounding you over the head with it if it weren't as big of a deal as it is, so you have to bear with. Here is Dan's official email, sent out to this year's participants. Oh, and for the record, he included John Sencio on the email.
Friends,
Is it really that time again?
It seems like just yesterday we memorialized the passing of the great Fred "Rerun" Berry, who suffered a massive heart attack. Fred would have been proud of us that night, a celebration of binge drinking to the highest degree. "What's Happenin'!" is right. Stay classy, Fred.
And that brings us to today. Another year gone, another dead black celebrity. This time the immortal...check that...very mortal, Russell Jones, perhaps better known as Ol' Dirty Bastard. Or Dirt McGirt. Or Osirus. Or Brian Brown. Or Big Baby Jesus. Whatever.
For posterity sake, we will honor Jones by his most memorable moniker. With that said, we present the 3rd Annual ODB Memorial Pearl River Pub Crawl.
Now from what we understand, ODB kicked in his recording studio after injesting copious amounts of cocaine. Bad boy didn't sleep for two straight days in what became his finest bender.
Cocaine will not be permitted at this year's pub crawl (Christine's behavior a year ago convinced us of that). However, there will be gluttonous amounts of beer and liquor on tap, and we will once again hold a competition to crown who will feel shittiest on Thanksgiving morning.
For those new to the game this year, a brief history:
Established in 2002 in honor of the late, semi-great, hip hop legend Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez, the Pearl River Memorial Pub Crawl is a game that tests both skill and endurance in the dangerous yet ultimately satisfying world of binge drinking.
The contest is made up of co-ed groups of two, in a 10-stop tour of bars spanning across beautiful Pearl River, better known as The Town Of Friendly People. The teams will each be distributed a scorecard and pencil, where they will track their drinking progress throughout the night. A rundown of the point system is as follows:
Beer = 1 point
Mixed drink = 1.5 points
Shot = 2 points
Tequila = 3 points
Water = (-1) point
This year, we have added a new bonus category for an additional 6 Point Super Mega-Score (TM). Considering the town's close affinity to our Emerald Isle brethren, this year we have added the Irish Car Bomb (pint of Guinness, shot of whiskey dropped in beer) to the mix. Swig a pair of those with your teammate, you've earned your keep.
The team with the highest point total by night's end will be crowned champion. An award presentation will follow. The winners of the Crawl are encouraged to sleep with each other and wake up in a bed of sin and regret on Thanksgiving morning.
Now for the legal business: Teams will be chosen at random on the day of the Crawl. There will be NO trading of teammates. Teams that do not complete the Crawl in its entirety are eliminated regardless of point total. If you are on this e-mail chain, you are free to invite hot chicks and stuff. Please dress warmly.
So there it is. We look forward to seeing you. Bob, Crissy, and Bob's afro have won for the past two years, so I think everyone should be motivated break that unfortunate streak.
If you need anything else, I don't know what to tell you.
See you there,
DH
P.S. Make sure to pick up the new U2 album on Tuesday. My boy Bono could really use your American capitalist income. Thanks in advance.
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b at 2:17 PM
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