2004: The Year of the Smash Mouth ending
You know the movie
Rat Race? Came out a few years ago, starring Jon Lovitz, Seth Green, Whoopi Goldberg, Cuba Gooding Jr. and many many more? Yes. I'm just going to say it: I almost loved the movie Rat Race. And not just because I find Jon Lovitz to be one of the funniest men alive, and not just because I love Seth Green because he was Cousin Wiley in the movie
Airborne, and not just because I find Whoopi Goldberg to be incredibly, incredibly sexy. No. Rat Race was a pretty funny, kind of absurd, but definitely enjoyable comedy until the final scene. For those of you who haven't seen it, I'm going to ruin the ending for you now, but no worse than how the producers ruined it.
In the final scene, all of the competitors who were on a race to win a lot of money (i don't remember how much) somehow end up on a stage interrupting a concert for charity. Even though they ended up on stage by accident, the organizers of the concert think that the reason they're there is to donate the money in their possession to starving children (or whatever). Lovitz, Green and crew initially try to take the money and run, however after seeing the children they realize that donating the money is the right thing to do, and they'll be better people for doing it. So one by one, the cast members take a handful of money and drop it into the donation bag.
Now, that's a pretty retarded ending. But what makes it SO MUCH WORSE is the band that's on stage at the time. That's right. You guessed it.
Smash Mouth. As the people are dropping their money into the bag, you hear it:
"Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed..." By the time the chorus kicks in, everybody including Mr. Bean and Amy Smart and Breckin Meyer are jumping around the stage singing,
"Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, get paid!" It's a truly horrible moment in cinema, and that scene alone ruined what otherwise was a pretty good movie.
My friend, Ex-Afro Brian, also saw the movie, and also had the same criticism I had. We ended up talking about it for quite some time, when it dawned on us that this wasn't the first time we saw this ending.
Shrek had the same thing: The Smash Mouth ending. The climax of the movie occurred, and then-- BAM-- Smash Mouth. As we continued to talk, we remembered other movies that had the same thing: The Smash Mouth Ending.
Now, I was a Mass Comm major who took several film classes, while Brian earned his Masters in Screenwriting, yet somehow neither of us ever learned about The Smash Mouth Ending in school. If you were to read about it in a text book, it would probably be described like this:
In lieu of an actual resolution, just get Smash Mouth to perform one of their terrible songs, Roll Credits. Done. Just like that.
So why am I writing about this? Well, tomorrow night my family and I are celebrating New Years Eve at the Tostitos Bowl Block Party in Tempe, Arizona, where the final band performing on the main stage is... yep. Them.
2004, a year of highs and lows, ups and downs, conflicts and resolutions, will have a Smash Mouth ending. What did I ever do to deserve this?
There's not a doubt in my mind that at the stroke of midnight the first sounds I hear in 2005 are going to be those unmistakable notes, followed by that obnoxious voice singing
"Somebody once told me..." By 12:02, the credits will be rolling.
In the soundtrack of my life, 2004 will forever be tied to "All-Star." Well, I guess that's better than coming up with an actual ending.
Happy New Year.
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b at 1:20 PM
