things i can afford to forget
Okay, it's time for me to start ridding my brain of the unnecessary shit that's been stewing in there for the past 25 years. Enough is enough. I know far too much useless stuff, and I think it's starting to affect me. I'm no longer able to retain information like I once was, and I blame that on all the crap that's occupying brain cells. So, I made a quick list of stuff that I can easily afford to forget. In fact, by writing it, I hope it evaporates from my memory once and for all. Here it goes...
- The McDonalds song from the 1980's. The one that they put on little records and gave out. "Big Mac, McBLT's, Quarter Pounder with some cheese..." I still remember whole thing.
- That the first time I heard the word "Bitch" on TV was during an episode of
Golden Girls.- Video game codes (Contra), video game tricks (finding the warp zones in Super Mario 3), and video game disappointments (never beating Mike Tyson).
-
Hull High, Parker Lewis Can't Lose, Camp Wilder- That Steve Larmer scored the first goal for the New York Rangers after they won the Stanley Cup.
- That Steve Larmer also gets an assist for the Jeremy Roenick goal scored by Trent in
Swingers.
- The Repo Man, Crush, Maximillion Moon, Doink, The Brooklyn Brawler, The 1-2-3 Kid, The Mounties, Nailz, The Beverly Brothers, Adam Bomb, Giant Gonzalez
- The majority of my
Saved by the Bell knowledge. Specifically, knowing that Screech's robot's name is Kevin, his dog's name is Hound Dog, and that when Stacy Carosi's boyfriend gave her a promise ring he said, "Now you're my girl FOREVER!"
- The words to just about every song in every musical I watched when I was a kid. Especially
South Pacific.
- Everything about
Problem Child 2,
Madhouse,
Weekend at Bernie's 2, and
Stay Tuned (all of which I saw in the theater).
- The words to "Baby Got Back," the words to Skee Lo's "I Wish," the words to "We Didn't Start the Fire," and the words to "Regulators."
- Useless baseball statistics. And I'm not talking about important stuff like Don Mattingly's career fielding percentage, no. I mean stuff like remembering that Wade Boggs batted .311 for the Yankees in 1996 and that Marcus Thames homered off Randy Johnson in his first major league at bat.
-
The Street, starring Jennifer Connelly and Tom Everett Scott. Not because it was a bad show, but because I liked it so much and it got cancelled after only 8 episodes.
- Jimmie's Chicken Shack, Marcy Playground, Moist, the Pulsars, Bettie Serveet, Matt Pond PA, and every other lame opening band I've ever seen
- That Bobby Collins was the comedian that replaced Rosie O'Donnell as the host of some VH1 stand up show.
- My extensive knowledge about the movie
Drive Me Crazy. That the Electrocutes are played by the Donnas, that Melissa Joan Hart has a lazy eye, and the nickname 'Designated Dave.'
- "Surf dudes with attitudes, kind of groovy, laid back moods. Sky above, sand below, good vibrations, feelin' mellow. Won't give it up. Don't wanna stop. Don't wake me up." Don't wake me up if I'm dreamin'. California dreams. Just let me lay here in the sun until my dream is done."
- That Charlie from
Empty Nest got a personalized license plate made up that read "Clover" which was meant to be read as "Sea Lover."
- That Hacksaw Jim Duggan b-b-b-beats people up.
- Everything I learned in high school.
That about sums it up. Okay, now it's time to start filling my brain up with important stuff. Hmm. I wonder what's going on with
American Idol tonight.
|
b at 7:11 PM
