Thursday, September 15, 2005

CMJ Awards
Since I haven't attended a single CMJ show yet, I figured that I was the perfect person to present awards to this year's participants. Of course, having only heard of approximately 5% of these bands, I'm going to have to base it solely on their names. I don't think that will be much of a problem.

Best band that sounds like a combination of Joy Division and Squirrel Nut Zippers -- Joy Zipper

Best band that I want to see purely because of their Saved by the Bell connection -- Bayside

Best band that you'd never find on the internet if you simply tried to google their name -- Men, Women, & Children

Best band that sounds like a combination of Joy Division and Widespread Panic -- Panic Division

Best emo band name of the week -- Sad Little Stars

Best band name that combines two pretty scary things -- AIDS Wolf

Best band since !!! -- +/-

Best band that should get used to New Yorkers pronouncing their name "how-stin" -- Houston Calls

Best band that reminds me of a girl I hooked up with in college -- Crazy Mary

Best band that reminds of a girl I wanted to hook up with in college -- Dirty Mary

Best solo musician with a porn star sounding name -- Devin Davis

Best band that makes you think of Oscar winner Tom Hanks -- The Hanks

Best group of females that were really upset with the outcome of the 2000 presidential election -- Gore Gore Girls

Best band just because -- Why?

Best band that makes you think of the 80's horror/comedy Monster Squad -- Monsters Are Waiting

Best band that obviously came up with their name in high school -- Goblin Cock

Best band that's trying to trick your parents into coming out to see them -- Buffalo Springsteen

Best band that's trying to trick your grandparents into coming out to see them -- Elvis Sinatra

Best band that's capitalizing on the whole "Montreal is the new Brooklyn" thing -- Hockey Night

Best band that uses the letter 'z' like it's 1991 -- The Willowz

Best band that you should know sucks before you see them -- Telepathy

Best band that makes you think of the movie Airborne -- Myracle Brah

Best band that should go on tour with Dogs Die in Hot Cars -- Karaoke Killed the Cat

Best band names that can double for sexual positions -- Singapore Sling & Eiffel Tower

Best band that makes me want to curl up and die -- Curl Up and Die

Best band that makes me want to get him, eat him -- Get Him, Eat Him

Best band that makes you wonder, "too soon?" -- Cajun Gems

Best band that should start a feud with the guys from Louis XIV -- The King of France

Best band that's grammatically incorrect -- Your Enemies Friends

Best band whose name says it all -- zZz
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b at 11:41 AM