I swear, Poop is not going to turn into a blog where all I do is promote the shit I'm doing. I swear. That'd be annoying. Instead, I'm only going to promote the shit I'm doing sometimes and write humorous posts in between. I'm re-acquainting myself with this... it takes time.
Anyway. I'm posting Doing His Best James Dean episode 5 today because it's timely and topical (even though we shot it 9 months ago). Here's why:
With "Meet The Spartans" finishing #1 at the Box Office, "Fat Suit The Movie" seems more likely than ever.
Carlos Mencia is going to be a bunch of Superbowl commercials. Yuck.
I'm in this one. Hooray!
So check it out. And go back and check out episode 4 if you missed that one. I think SuperD is going to finally put up the rest of the series so we'll stop bothering them about it. Finally.
Check back here tomorrow. I promise I'll write a legitimate post before plugging something else. Okay... I promise I'll try.
| b at 5:58 PM
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
The 9/11 Mime
I swear, this isn't a Post Show skit.. this is real. Really, really real. I'm at a loss for words, which is appropriate.
Subscribe to Douchebag Beach! Leave comments! Pass it on to your friends! Exclamation points!
My three favorite things about episode 2: 1) Greg accidentally smacking the camera and unleashing an unscripted "fuck" in the bathroom. 2) Jason's face when he says "I'm in love with this retard." So happy and hopefully. 3) Taping my GF's face up and making her dance with glowsticks and arm casts. I think that's the moment she realized that dating me wasn't going to be easy.
| b at 4:38 AM
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Wherever You Are, Whatever You're Doing, Just Know There's Probably A Nicolas Cage Movie on TV
This is a scientific fact. I've been ridiculously ill and planted in front of the TV for the past 4 days. During this period an hour has not gone by without a Nicolas Cage movie playing on cable. So, since Monday, I've watched:
Snake Eyes
Wicker Man
The Rock
Ghostrider
The Weatherman
World Trade Center
The General's Daughter
I know Nic isn't in The General's Daughter, but John Travolta is. And seeing as it came out a mere two years after Face/Off... I think we have to include. I mean, did you see that movie??? He took his face OFF! He took it off!!! And put it on!!! Wow!
3 douchebags. 1 summer. 1 mission. Find true love... at the Jersey Shore.
So I'm incredibly excited to share Douchebag Beach with y'all today. We shot this over the summer in Belmar, NJ and I couldn't be happier with how it turned out.
The company we shot it for, 60Frames, launched their website today. They're going to be distributing their videos through YouTube, MySpace, etc. so hopefully Douchebag Beach manages to find its way to douchebags all over the country. Hopefully. But hey, even if it doesn't, that's not going to stop me from buying some Douchebag Beach merch. The lifeguard hoodie is just too awesome.
| b at 11:18 PM
Thursday, January 10, 2008
This Is How I Remind You That Your Bills Are Due
You have to know that I'm serious about this blogging thing. I know I've been gone for a couple of days, but that's only because I just flew back from New York to LA. Yeah, you heard me. I'm blaming it on jet lag. Deal with it.
One thing I'm going to have to get used to during this second tour of blogging duty is the time difference. On the east coast it was nice knowing that if I slacked all day and posted something at 7 o'clock, at least the folks out west still had something to read during the afternoon. I don't have that luxury here. So much like I did with my fantasy football team, I'm going to blame any failures I have on the Pacific Coast time zone. And Steven Jackson. It's his fault if I don't blog.
Super Deluxe threw us for a loop and posted this Family Guy homage the other day. The comments-- as comments tend to do-- miss the boat completely. People seem to be under the impression that we're going after Family Guy and Nickelback in this sketch. Nothing could be further from the truth- we LOVE Family Guy and Nickelback (one more ironically than the other, of course.) In fact, the way we came up with this idea was when we were driving around and decided that Nickelback got a bad rap. I mean, yes, they suck, but doesn't Chad Kroeger kind of seem like a really nice guy? I think we attend to assume he's awful because he's kind of Scott Stappish and Scott Stapp was awful, but I don't get that dickhead messiah vibe from the Kroeg. He strikes me as sweet. And nice. And probably a little socially awkward because he's Canadian. So that's what this is all about. Chad helping people out. What a great, great dude... making terrible, terrible music.
Punching That Girl In The Face Made Me Realize How Much I Miss Being In Love
SuperDeluxe posted the third episode of "Doing His Best James Dean" today- how's that for a birthday present? At this rate they'll all be on the site by the time I'm 30. Maybe.
Anyway, I urge you all (read: the 11 people who know I'm back) to check it out. It's not the funniest thing we've ever produced, but when you put it all together it's a pretty damn entertaining series with some great moments. AND we got to work with one of our comedic idols, Dean Cameron, so it was all worth it.
So here's a link to the series page. Watch them and let me know what you think. It's my birthday today. Consider it a present.
| b at 11:36 AM
Friday, January 04, 2008
WTFF- WHAT THE FUCK FRIDAYS??
Celebrating shit that actually happened. WHAT: Wyclef Jean featuring The Rock- "It Doesn't Matter" WHEN: The year 2000. WHY: It's quite evident as you watch the video that in the year 2000 Wyclef felt like he was on top of the world and he could do no wrong. So why not team up with the biggest WWE superstar at the time and record a novelty rap track? People have done it before, there's no shame in that. But wait. There's just one problem: I don't think this is supposed to be a novelty. I think they're serious. Yeah... they're definitely serious.
Three Days Into 2008, I'm Already Nostalgic For '07. Aren't You?
What better way to truly jump back into the blogging world than by making a painfully hip Top 10 Albums of the year list? The Top 10 list is to blogging what color war is to day camp or strike beards are to late night talk show hosts. They're unavoidable.
I had a weird relationship with music this year. I bought the fewest number of physical CD's since 1992 (when I purchased the Arrested Development CD, "The Best of Weird Al" and nothing else), and I found most of my music via Elbo.ws. My iPod has officially changed the way I listen to music, but probably not for the better. It's the reason I can't include Neon Bible or Living With The Living on this list. Whenever I'm in the mood for the Arcade Fire or Ted Leo I click on "All Albums" and "shuffle" and just let it go. So I have no clue how much I like the new albums, but I'm sure I do. A lot. I also can't include Radiohead's In Rainbows on this list because I was too lazy to download it. Yes, I know it only required two minutes of my time and no physical energy whatsoever... but still. It's like organizing bookmarks- just too much work. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
With that said, these are probably my Top 10 favorite albums of the year and this is probably the order. I made sure to include all the necessities- one MySpace band you never heard of, one ironic pop act, a friend's band, a black guy... it's all there. I also included links to some mp3 blogs where you can download free music. So enjoy.
10. Let's French Victory - Apparently The Onion thinks they have one of the Worst Band Names of '07. They're listed right in between Dance Me Pregnant and Whore Du Jour. Oh well. They have a great sound, regardless, even though their MySpace page is obnoxious and I think they may have broken up. I listed to "Boys and Girls" a lot this year. A lot.
9. Boys Like Girls - Brian bought this CD at a Sam Goody on our way to the airport one day because he liked the song "The Great Escape". Immediately after making the purchase balloons fell from the ceiling, sirens went off and everybody started celebrating because he was the first guy to buy a whole CD for one song since 2002. It was exciting. Anyway, whenever I listen to "The Great Escape" it makes me miss high school when I would drive up and down the Pacific Coast highway on my way to and from beach bonfires with my bro's Talan, Jason and Steve. Guys, senior year is the best! I'm going to miss you when we go to college! Keep in touch!!!
8. SpoonGa Ga Ga Ga Ga - Every time the NFL uses "The Underdog" while heading to commercial I get a little boner. Um. Well. The boner isn't little, it's the amount of boner that's little. This is a tough one to explain. Let's move on.
6. The AffairYes Yes To You - Listen, as far as friend's bands go, you can't ask for a better one. Read the pitchfork review, listen to "Andy", buy the damn album. I'd love these guys even if they stopped returning my phone calls (which they probably will someday).
4. Wilco Sky Blue Sky - If it weren't for the Album With The Egg On The Cover, Wilco would probably be my favorite band in the world at this point. Instead, they'll have to settle for Top 10. Mr. Weird, you've just been bumped.
3. Of MontrealHissing Fauna You Are The Destroyer - According to my iPod the song linked below (with the title I refuse to type twice) is my Most Played song of the year. I'm not sure whether or not I believe it, though, because my iPod is a liar and a racist. Don't judge it. It's just going through a lot of shit right now.
2. Shout Out LoudsOur Ill Wills - Best concert I saw all year, hottest keyboard player I saw all year, and some of the best music I heard all year. I'll love these guys forever. Unless their next album has an egg on the cover. Then we may have to re-evaluate.
1. Okkervil RiverThe Stage Names - Two months ago I had no idea who these guys were. None. Now, they're responsible for my favorite album of the year and I'm kind of obsessed with them. If they had a cooler band name I'd probably get it tattoo'd across my chest right now. Granted, it'd be tough to see thanks to my excessive body hair, but it's the thought that counts. Right? Download the two songs below. If they motivate you to get inked, give me a call.
Alright, so there it is. My apologies to those who didn't make the list but came close (like Band of Horses) and to those who should've made the list were ruled ineligible because their album was a re-release and most of them are dead (The Traveling Wilburys).
| b at 9:16 PM
Don’t Call It A Comeback. Seriously, Don’t. That’d Be Stupid.
Juno sucks.
It does, I’m sorry. I saw it with an open mind and you have to truly believe me when I say that I really wanted to like it. I thought I was going to, too. Michael Cera, a cute 20-year-old girl playing a cute 16-year-old girl and that catchy Moldy Peaches song won me over. It was the hamburger phone that lost me. A HAMBURGER phone. If you saw the movie, you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t seen the movie, please, allow me to elaborate:
A FUCKING HAMBURGER PHONE.
I hope that helps. It wasn’t just the hamburger phone that turned me against Juno, though. It was the main character’s ability to consistently deliver the clever one-liners like a pregnant Don Rickles. She had a cute Dawson's Creek-ish response for EVERYTHING. I know she was supposed to be “quirky” and “original” but since when does quirky and original mean “could write for The Colbert Report at 16 while simultaneously pushing a baby out of her vagina”?
So the other day while I was getting frustrated and angry reading the overwhelmingly positive reviews on RottenTomatoes I had a moment where I thought “I wish I had my own movie review site so I could complain about this piece of shit and lower its Fresh rating.” Of course, that would be wildly impractical and way, way more work than I’m capable of. But a light went off.
Didn’t I used to have a blog? Didn’t I have a place where I could write whatever I want whenever I wanted and a few people would read it? And wasn’t that blog... poop?
And just like that, I’m back.
A lot’s happened in the year and half since I said goodbye to this site. I quit my job at Best Week Ever, made the move to Los Angeles, found myself a girlfriend and even got a couple of haircuts along the way. I’ve gone from living with Brian in a tiny 2-bedroom LES apartment to living with Brian and Jason in a beautiful house in Hollywood- and somehow we’re paying less here. We’re 2 Jews and a Viking trying to make it in the entertainment industry- if that doesn’t have “bad TBS original sitcom” written all over it, I don’t know what does. Suck it, 10 Items Or Less.
Anyway, ever since I started spending my days writing dick jokes with Brian and Jason full-time there’s been a blogging void in my life. That’s why I’m going to start posting here again. With The Post Show and the other projects I’m working on, there’s a lot of lag time between conception, production, distribution and feedback- here, I know I can get people telling me I suck IMMEDIATELY. I miss that.
So here we go, My Blog Is Poop version 2.0. No, I’m not going to spend all my time complaining about movies (or hamburger phones). It’s going to be just like how it used to be, but better... hopefully... maybe... probably not. Actually, I’m just hoping the resurrection falls somewhere in between The Ill-Advised Spice Girl Reunion Tour and Rocky Balboa. I guess we’ll see.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m heading out to go find a pregnant 16-year-old to discuss indie-cult-horror flicks and influential late 70’s punk pioneers with. It shouldn’t be too hard. They’re everywhere. Right?
| b at 2:24 PM
